For the Post-op Curious

I haven’t posted too many pictures here on the blog, mainly because of lack of energy and/or time. I know heading into my surgery I was curious about what this was going to be like. I knew I would have drains and these things that would slowly release pain med over a few days. I had no idea what that would be or look like.

It hasn’t been as bad as I expected.  I have more range of motion that I anticipated having, that’s not to say I’m anywhere near normal but I could wash my hair if I needed to but showers are a no-go for now, I’m hoping my plastic surgeon will clear me for careful showers today.  There’s quite a bit of pain, especially if I haven’t moved much, getting in and out of bed is tricky though it is made easier by our bed being very high off the floor.  The stairs in our home haven’t been awful, but the meds I’m on mean I need to “proceed with caution”  Matt generally tries to chaperone me.

Now for the appearance side of things.  My plastic surgeon was almost like a child on Christmas, he was very pleased with how the incisions look and how my “breasts” appear.  I’ve seen the incisions and I didn’t pass out which is noteworthy given my experience with my first informed consent of this entire process.  I have some pictures below (NOT of the incisions) that show my super haute fashion surgical bra, the drains (we call them blood grenades), and the OnQ pain pump.  I’m sharing these because I was curious and that’s normal and healthy.  Breast cancer is a big deal and it affects thousands of women, many of whom we know personally.  Any women that has a mastectomy (single or double) will have a similar set-up to me.  This is about information and sharing what this experience has been and is like for me.  My hope is that this is a help to someone, just as sharing this is a way for me to process through all these changes.

NOTE: if you are sqeamish and don’t do well with medical stuff or blood, feel free to skip the pics. 🙂

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So this is it! Part of what my surgeon was so excited about is that I am not 100% flat. When he inserted the tissue expanders he was able to begin the expansion process (at least thats how I understand it). Those bulb-y things are the drains. The tiny tubes lead to the OnQ pump which is in the black bag/fanny pack thing. The surgical “bra” kind of redefines compression wear. I mean I love compression leggings for working out but this is to tight that I have breathing exercises to do each hour.

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Initially when I came home from the hospital the OnQ pump (black bag/fanny pack-type thing) was pinned to one of the drains. Wearing it like a fanny pack is much more comfortable.

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I have two drains (one on each side) they connect into my side and are pretty basic, they help drain excess fluid which helps to prevent infection and speed healing. Matt empties them 3x a day and records how much fluid is in each “grenade”. I mean really don’t they look like little blood grenades? But don’t worry most of the fluid in the drain is not blood, it’s a mix of water and other fluids with a bit of blood. These drains will probably come out in a week or so.

So that’s it.  I hope this has been or will be a help and encouragement to someone.

Love, Hope, and Laughter!!

The Surgery

Bilateral mastectomy with sentinel lymph node dissection and possible axiliary tail dissection with reconstruction.

That is the name of the surgery I will be having tomorrow morning (8/11) at 11:15.  In non-medical terms it means I will be having both breasts removed, during surgery the Doctors will remove and biopsy the primary lymph nodes, there’s a possibility of removing more lymph nodes but that will be determined during surgery.  The plastic surgeon will also begin reconstruction, this process will take a few months to be finish.

I am as ready as I can be for this surgery.  This is what I had decided to do in March and I haven’t really had any doubts about whether this was the best option for me, it is.  Removing the breast that has the cancer is kind of a no brainer for me, since I have two confirmed tumors and a possible third (which was not biopsied because I planned to do a mastectomy) even if a Doctor would recommend a lumpectomy there would be very little breast tissue left.  Most Doctors that I have spoken with recommend a mastectomy because of the multiple locations and that the locations are in different quadrants of the breast (they view the breast as a pie divided into quarters, the tumors are in different quarters).  Removing the unaffected breast isn’t really necessary from a medical standpoint, the statistics say it is very unlikely that the cancer would move to the other breast in the case of recurrence.  So while I am only changing my chance of recurrence by 1-2% I still feel that 1-2% and some peace of mind is worth the extra recovery time.  And to be honest I like symmetry and let’s face it a single mastectomy with reconstruction would not be symmetrical.

This is clearly a deeply personal and difficult decision.  Breasts are a source of cultural controversy and over-sexualization in our world today, whether it’s talk of public breast-feeding or the exploitation of women it’s easy to forget that at the end of the day this appendage can nourish my children and attempt to kill me. 😉  All joking aside, this is not a completely simple choice, though in some ways it was for me, I have spent many hours working through this choice.  For the many women that face breast cancer each day this choice looks different and there is no “right” decision, there’s also no “right” way to come to a decision.

So as we stare down the final hours before surgery I have complete peace in my choice, in my Doctors (seriously, they are great!), and in this time.  I know that recovery will take time and effort and will bring pain, but nothing in life is easy and the plan is for this to bring me many more years of life so it’s worth the work.  If you pray, please join with us tomorrow and know that the support, care and love we have felt is simply overwhelming.  Thank you all for loving us.

This verse was shared with me and it has carried me through much of this time:
Isaiah 43:2
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

 

Love, Hope, and Laughter!!